Blog Post SOS!
The funny thing about thinking about drinking is that the more you think about it, the more you want to do it. And the more you do it, the more you want to stop doing it. And then back to the thinking about it and voila! - the vicious cycle is created.
I knew I didn’t want to stop drinking. I mean, I remembered really really liking drinking. Except that I didn’t like it any more. It wasn’t doing the job any more, but maybe if I just tried a different drink? Or maybe if I just took a day off? Or maybe if I just went out with different friends? Then it would work again? I played this game for years, but I still knew I didn’t want to stop drinking.
Something inside of me said, we can’t do this. We can’t deal with life without it. We have too much grief, too many responsibilities, too stressful of a job, too many bills. We deserve to have a drink to resolve all these things. These feelings. We deserve to not feel. What?
Yeah I felt crazy. And stuck. And lost. And like I needed a little push to get back into the dinghy. It looks like in the picture that I can’t get back in. But what you can’t see is that the other person (that’s my husband), he can touch the bottom there. He walked around and pushed me back in. I don’t want to say that quitting drinking was that easy. But the shift in perspective that made it possible was just as real. And actually, easier than I thought it would be.
I only picked up This Naked Mind by Annie Grace because I was curious about what a life without alcohol might look like. I knew that my current life version needed an upgrade, but I had no idea I was behind by several upgrades. In fact, my programming had exceeded the maintenance and support contract!
You don’t need to know that something is wrong or that something needs to change. You just need to sense that more in life is available for you. You need to have a glimmer of belief that a different reality exists and is possible. You don’t need to know definitively that you “have a problem” or why you have a problem, you just need to sense that there’s another way, a better way, a brighter future for you with less stress and anxiety and more joy and beauty and love.
